so its been awile... well im not getting into many details because they are boring and no one really cares... either way still in school doing pretty decent, got a great job now the last place i worked cosed and when i moved to CA i couldnt find work which sucked... in any event... kinda depressed got too much going on right now, i miss having friends to talk to and hate being alone without the freinds i do have near me...

part words of wisdom... something to think about....

guess what.. waldo isnt always in the damn picture, and if you look and look till you find him youll either get a headache from staring so long or youll throw the book...either way just dont pick the damn book up in the first place it will save you a headache and maybe a broken lamp....

secondly...there isnt always a sailboat behind those drugged out pyshcadellic colours in the magic eye book... they were invented by crackheads who THOUGHT they could see something in amongst those colours...well they dont realize you look like a jackass sitting cross eyed and staring at a book and giving yourself a damn headache for no reason...

that is all...

dear jesus... thanks for letting my lungs fill with air for another year... cant wait to see what ya got planned for this whole upcoming year, these last few have been a fucking riot ;)...

you know sometimes when life hands you lemons... no matter you do, you end up with a big hot steaming mess...

there is one thing in this world that makes me angry and makes me sad cry at the same time... and thats when someone makes me feel like a jackass... a complete and total jackass... im not talking little jackass, im talking your soo fucking stupid what the hell are you thinking jackass...well someone has made me feel like that... and im not happy and i just dont know what to do... im soo tired of the shit... not like it really matters... im a jackass... maybe one day i will learn to stop being so stupid and being such a jackass...the sad part is, i deserve this one.... thats what makes it so hard

i realized today that boys are like puppies...they love you and sleep in your bed until a new leg comes along to hump or another puppy walks past and they can jump at the chance to sniff the others butt...so for now i spose i realize that i think id rather have a puppy than a boy...puppies are cheaper, you can potty train them, and if they sleep in your bed long enough then no matter what other leg or butt comes along the puppy will always love you and still sleep in your bed :)... i cant wait until i move because ill have my puppy back, she lives with my grandmother because theres more room for her there and because my grandparents need her there... they get very lonely... well im coming home to my puppy... and that makes me happy... happier than the idea of any boy right now

so im back from my mini vacation and nick came home with me...love him to death... we talked evertyhing through and he we are doing great... i think for once in my life i am doing the right thing.. pics will come shortly... as soon as i unload them from the digi cam and send them to my laptop... and as soon as i figure out how to post them to my lj... nay of my loving friends out there who is reading this and knows how to do so, please can ya help me out :-D

this is sheniqua everyone she is my new bitch :)... she is a 2007 hyundai accent...and she is mine and in 6 years she will be ALL mine...lol...

[IMG]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/rhaighonn/car2.jpg
[IMG]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/rhaighonn/car4.jpg
[IMG]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/rhaighonn/car3.jpg
[IMG]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/rhaighonn/car8.jpg
[IMG]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/rhaighonn/car9.jpg
[IMG]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/rhaighonn/car13.jpg
[IMG]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/rhaighonn/carme.jpg
[IMG]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g17/rhaighonn/carme2.jpg

okay im moving and i plan on doing soon in about january.... i want to hear thoughts and opinions on where everyone thinks i should move... :) im open to all suggestions and want to hear from anyone who wants to give me imput :) thanks

so im not dealing with things very well at all... my grandma called this morning... and my aunt has slipped into a coma and they cant find any signs of any brain activity and dont plan on finding any... im not dealing well with this...not at all...

well sometimes the truth hurts... and my depression has a name and a face now... and i knoew it would... i just needed to talk to jim to figure things out...i may sound like im crazy or fucked up... it possible... i wont deny it... but the thing is this... me and jim talked...i rely on him for everything... because hes the only reliable thing in my life...i have miscontrued reality with what I wanted... my feelings for him are real... i do love him and care about him as he does for me... but ive taken it to a level where it shouldnt be...because i have been so lonely lately that ive relied on him foreverything and i think ive miscontrued his good intentions and friendship as something else... ill be the first to admit it... and i hurt him in the process... and i never wanted that... i love the boy... hes the perfect person for me in this life... but we cant do a bf reltionship, because i counldnt bear to lose him out of my life... plain and simple...so i have to be okay with the relationship we have now and i am...this is important for me... because i need to realize... i do want to have friends, but the friends i do have right here physically all seem to take advatage of me and hurt me...and lately they have all made me feel like im a bad person... and i know that im not....its just been hard for to face it when i have heaps of people telling me as such, and when i have my best friend in the whole world and im making him feel like shit, which in turn makes me feel like a bad person...things have to change a bit... and im assuming they will soon...even if i have to go on without friend except jim... i knowi can be okay... why cant my friends just be friends, why do they have to hurt me...